“I tried to suffocate myself in the cupboard last night, but I came out when I heard the theme tune to Lost. I simply can’t afford to miss an episode of that show.”
“Euthenasia sounds like such a good idea. Why can’t young people sign up for it voluntarily? I’m tired of waking up every morning and crying into my Rice Krispies. It’s just Sob, Splutter and Sob for me, every goddamn day.”
“I’ve never felt I’ve been valued by anyone. I’m just a waste of space that everyone ignores, like a ghost without a home.”
“Sometimes I want to break out of his vacuum but I just can’t. The space demons keep calling me back into the void. I feel comfortable there!”
“I want to die but I can’t think of a way to end it all that involves cotton wool. I’m terrified of blades.”
“I wish I was a duck, then I wouldn’t have to give a damn y’know? I could just sit there in the pond and float about, eating scraps of bread. It’s my idea of heaven y’know? Perhaps that’s what happens when you die and you’ve been good! You go to the great pond on the sky where the Lord will feed you bits of bread for all eternity”
“I’m tired of being made the scapegoat in life. I feel like I’m being persecuted at every possible moment. Even if a kitty comes up to me I’m suspicious of it’s motives. I know it’s just there to make a fool out of me.”
From : Emo Sayings
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